Jaded
by RequiredWolf
Summary: Ever since the Beast incident, Beastboy has been seen as an animal. The others try to hide it, but Beastboy knows and is growing weary of it. When Beastboy is given an oppurtunity at another family, the titans learn how he feels. Will they try to bring him back or let him slip into another family? Rated M for cutting and other things.
1. Chapter 1

Beastboy trudged back into his room after a grueling battle with cinderblock. The rock head had been causing trouble at a construction site and the Titans had been called. With all of the construction everywhere, Beastboy couldn't be as helpful to the team as he usually could. Robin, being Batman's apprentice, noticed this and decided to vent his frustrations out onto the green man. Beastboy just took everything into his mind and remembered it, he was going to need it later...

Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven had all seen what Robin had done but none of them came to his defense, they just sat there as Robin insulted the changeling over and over again. None of them said a word when Beastboy immediately went to his room when they had gotten home. They also didn't notice the kitchen knife that had gone missing. They had decided that it had been a long day, and had all went to bed, assuming Beastboy did as well.

"Green, ugly, freak!" Words and insults of all kinds were running rampant in Beastboy's mind. With every word that Robin had told him, he had made a cut. He had picked up the habit when he became the beast for the first time. Sure Raven had told him some encouraging words, but he could smell the fear from her. They never believed it was Adonis that had attacked Raven, they just tried to make Beastboy believe they did so he wouldn't snap again. They couldn't actually pin it to Beastboy, but they have a weapon to use against him if he turns again He wasn't supposed to know about all of the meeting that went on that he wasn't a part of, but with his hearing he heard. He heard every negative thing they said about him, and they had no idea. "At least with the Doom Patrol, they had the courage to say it to my face" said Beastboy to himself.

This was a habit for Beastboy now. He would remember all he truly was and he would cut himself, then he would work out for even more pain. He liked the pain because after it left, it made him numb; numb to all of the things that his "friends" say to each other. Numb to the sighs of relief he would hear when he went to his room. Numb to the fact that the ones he loved thought of him as a monster.

"Well, I'm not gonna get any sleep tonight, I might as well write" said Beastboy to himself. This was another strange habit that Beastboy had picked up. When he didn't want to deal with anyone, he would write all of his thoughts and angers into a large book. He sometimes put blood on the pages to remind him when he had went through a particularly rough day. He would look through it sometimes and be proud he made it through those days. He kept the book hidden in the mess of his room. He wished he could clean his room, but if he did that, then he would have to figure out another way to hide his things. Nobody ever suspected he actually had an order to his room. When he was done writing in his room, he heard that someone had gotten up. He smelled lavender so he quickly flew out of the window. He already knew what she actually thought of him from what she said so he avoided her whenever he could. He was so hasty in his fleeing, he didn't think to put his book back.

 ** **Raven's POV****

"Maybe if I just talk to him, he'll go to sleep." muttered Raven to herself. She could not go to sleep with all of the emotion that was coming from Beastboy's room. The changeling was much more closed up since the Beast accident. She got to his door and suddenly felt Beastboy's aura change much smaller, as if he was flying away from the tower. Curious, Raven went into the boy's room and saw the open window and was about to go back to bed when she saw something that was out of place in Beastboy's room.

It was a book.

 ** **Beastboy's POV****

 ** ******'That was close' thought Beastboy to himself as he flew into the city. He found a place to land and then started walking around int the city, he knew he couldn't go back to the tower tonight and he didn't want to sleep right now. He was lost in his thoughts until someone appeared in front of him, blocking his path.

"Well nice of you to drop by" said Beastboy as he prepared to fight his way out.

"I'm not here to fight you, I broke into the tower and I saw and heard something about you." Red X began.

"Yeah I know, I'm a monster, they forget about my ears." said Beastboy before the not villain not hero could finish.

"If they all think of you like that, why do you stay?" asked Red X as he lounged on the side of a wall.

"Where else is someone like me going to go without being tested on?" asked Beastboy with a raised eyebrow. He had concluded that Red X was actually telling the truth, and meant no harm. He also sensed someone else close by and listening in on their conversation. "Alright, you can come out now" said Beastboy to the third person. A girl came out of the shadows and Beastboy immediately knew who it was.

"Blackfire, I thought I told you to go back to the hideout." said Red X as Blackfire walked up to the two.

"When I heard about where you were going, there was no way I was gonna let you go without back-up. responded Blackfire.

"He already knows what is happening, go home, I'll be there soon." commanded RedX

"So you and Blackfire hooked up?" asked Beastboy, grinning.

"Yeah we did, guess me and Robin are both into aliens. A distinct voice in the background yelled "I heard that!"

Both of the males began chuckling. When they both stopped laughing, Red X began again, "If you don't have a place to stay, why don't you come with me?" inquired RedX

"And where is that?" asked Beastboy. He had already basically given up on the idea of staying a titan, maybe this was the opportunity to move on.

"An abandoned warehouse on the other side of town, there's five of us and we all don't want to be villains or heroes. We just want to live as normal of a life as we can." explained RedX

"I thought you used to steal?" inquired Beastboy.

"Keyword there being used to. So what do you day?"

Beastboy thought about it for a while. He thought of all the good times he had with the Titans and how they made him feel like he had a family. Then he started thinking about all of the things that they had done to him and said behind his back. He realized that the titans were never his real family, maybe he had a better chance of finding one here. "Alright X, I'm in but I need to go get some stuff from the tower. I'll be there tomorrow night." With that he began to walk back to the Tower.

"I haven't even told you exactly where it is." RedX called after him.

"This nose knows" Beastboy said while poking said body part and then began walking again.


	2. Chapter 2

Beastboy made it back to the tower but he never went back to his room. Even though it was nearing midnight and he needed to pack his things, he didn't feel like he needed to yet so he stayed in the common room and listened to music while looking out over the city. _'That's one thing_ _I'll_ _miss about this place, the view.'_ Beastboy thought to himself. He was tempted to go to the roof but he knew that Raven was up there and by the smell of her emotions, she didn't seem happy so he wasn't going to risk a possible confrontation. He eventually grew restless so he went to his room to start packing what he needed. When he was almost finished, he noticed something wrong.

Where was his book?

 **Raven's POV earlier.**

"Why does he have a book in his room?" the girl asked to herself. "Maybe he stole one of mine and he hid it from me." she reasoned to herself in anger. She snatched the book up and without even opening it up, she set it down in her room and then went up to the roof to plan the confrontation with him in the morning. She should probably mention that he stole another book in the next meeting they have. At first she felt bad about having meetings behind his back but she eventually got used to the idea that team matters required a maturity that Beastboy clearly lacked. It was better to have these things hidden from him.

 **Back to Beastboy's POV**

After demolishing the remnants of his room for an hour with no success, he began to pace around his trying to think up a plan of action.

"Alright, if one of them has it, they are probably going to confront me about it in the morning so I have to leave tonight." he reasoned to himself. He grabbed all that he needed and took off out the window being careful to fly low so that it was harder for someone to see him from the roof. Instead of flying towards Jump, he flew north east until he spotted a small town in the distance. 'Perfect.' he thought to himself as he landed behind a building and then went to find the nearest clothing store. He somehow found a store that was still open and went inside.

"Welcome!" a girl at the counter said cheerfully. Beastboy smiled and said hello and then went to the clothing part of the shop. He managed to find black sweatpants and a black hoody that managed to hide most of his face. He also picked out a pair of black steel-toed boots along with some black gloves that fit his hands. He went up to the counter to pay and the girl instantly recognized him.

"Oh my god you're Beastboy!" the girl screamed. "You're my favorite superhero ever!"

"Umm, thanks." Beastboy said while he blushed and looked down, not used to any attention that was positive.

"Oh don't be shy! I bet you get a ton of attention in jump!" the girl said. "Can I hug you?"

"Oh, ummm sure?" he responded. She instantly embraced him in a hug previously thought impossible for a regular girl.

"This is the best day of my life! I love you so much! wait where are the rest of the titans at?" the girl eventually calmed down from her fan-girl induced hype.

"Oh, they are still at the tower. I'm the only titan here, sorry." he apologized.

"Why are you saying sorry?" she curiously asked.

"People are usually disappointed when they find out that I go places alone because they are excited to see the others." he explained looking a bit sad.

"Hey don't be sad! You haven't disappointed me, to be honest, I'm kind of glad they aren't here." she said with a smile while finally getting around to ringing his items up.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"Between you and me, you're the only titan that I think is interesting. the others seem to be too prideful or naive to actually have an enjoyable conversation with. That and their inflated egos." she explained.

"Thanks." He said with a smile. He took his items and looked for a quick exit. When he found it, he turned around, kissed the girl on the cheek, and then got out of the store as quick as he could. The resulting fan-girl screech could probably have been heard for miles.

"Fangirls." he said to himself with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

After Beastboy left the store, he found a burn barrel that he could put his clothes in. After that was done, he buried his communicator thinking that burning it would set off an alarm and notify the other titans. When that was done, he left to go find a cave where he could hide until morning came when he would find Red X. He eventually found a cave and conveniently it had some clean water. He drank some of the water and ate some food that he had brought with him from the tower. After he was satisfied, he dozed off for the night.

Morning came very quickly as Beastboy tried to shake off his grogginess from his lack of sleep from the night before. He thought about going for a morning flight, but decided against it as he would have to strip naked and he never knew when he would have to land for some reason. It would be pretty embarrassing if he had to fight or talk to anyone while naked. Following his nose, he walked around with his hood on and pulled down over his face as much as it would go. As long as he was careful, it would be pretty easy to stay incognito.

 **Raven's POV**

"Alright, first order of business, has Beastboy done anything lately to anyone?" Robin asked as he opened yet another meeting without the green man. The four were so sure that he would be asleep till noon that they never bothered to check if he was even in the tower.

"I found a book in his room, he probably stole it from me so I took it back to my room. He seemed really sad last night though. When I went to tell him to go to sleep, he left the tower." Raven announced in her deadpan voice.

"Is B even capable of sadness?" Cyborg asked, shocked.

"Apparently"

"Do you know what book he took?" Robin asked.

"I never bothered to check, I just threw it in my room and went to the roof to prepare for a confrontation with him when he got back." the empath answered.

"Well could you go get it? It might have something to do with him being sad." He asked.

"Friends if Beastboy is sad should we not help him feel better?" Starfire asked, saying something for the first time in a meeting. She didn't understand why Beastboy wasn't included in the meetings but if everyone else thought that he shouldn't, it was probably for a good reason.

"We are, we just need to see why he is sad so that we know how to comfort him." Robin answered. In all honestly Robin didn't care to comfort the boy, he just wanted to make sure that it wasn't something going on with the beast incident, but there was no way in hell that he was about to tell Starfire that.

Right as Robin had finished answering Starfire, Raven showed back up with Beastboy's book in her hands. She laid it down on the table with a large thump.

"Are you sure that's the right book? I'm not even sure that Beastboy knows that books get that big." Cyborg said jokingly. Raven ignored him and opened up the book to the first page. All it had on it was a couple sentences and what looked like red ink all over the bottom of the page.

 _I've hit a new low and resorted to writing a journal. I bet Raven would be proud, Actually she would probably just throw me out another window._

Raven looked at the first page in disbelief. The other three noticing her look, looked over her shoulder and read the page as well.

"Friends did Beastboy spill ink on his book?" Starfire asked.

"I'm not sure Star, Cyborg scan it." Robin ordered.

He did and when the results came back, Cyborg redid the test on several different spots of the page before telling them his findings. "It's blood, BB's blood." Cyborg said in shock. "It looks like it's been there for a while too."

The 4 teens went through several more pages of Beastboy's journal each of them somehow getting worse than the rest. On around the tenth page, they had had enough and had to stop reading. On the page there were their names and a quote that they have said about him.

 _Robin- It's better if we keep him in the tower because we can watch him; who knows what he might do if he was loose?_

 _Cyborg- The anti-Beast weapons are coming along nicely; If he ever turns on us we can put him down like the animal he really is._

 _Starfire- I do not appreciate that Beastboy is still allowed to live in the tower after the incident, What if he hurts someone else?_

 _Raven- God my shoulder is still killing me, if only we had some proof that green bastard actually did it, we could just put him down and be done with it._

These were bad but it was what was written below that made them stop.

 _Keeping me here doesn't make them safer, it makes them weaker. Seeing the anger and fear in their eyes is indescribable. At first I hated it, but now I'm beginning to enjoy it._

Thoroughly disturbed, they ended the meeting and went on with their day trying to forget what they had read in that book. They were so wrapped up in their thoughts they never noticed Beastboy's absence.

 **Beastboy's POV**

"Almost there" Beastboy muttered under his breath while trying to dodge people by slipping into alleyways. Since he didn't properly know Red X's smell, he couldn't follow it so he just followed the smell of Blackfire. It was much easier to track her since there were only two tamaranians on Earth. He continued on for about an hour before he came upon an abandoned warehouse. Cautiously, he entered the warehouse to find 2 girls sitting on a couch watching a small TV with Red x and Blackfire nowhere in sight.

"umm hello? Is Red X around?" Beastboy asked. When the two turned around, one of them instantly recognized him. One of the people he didn't know but the other he knew very well for he had fought her various times in the past, it was the queen of bad luck herself, Jinx.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She didn't really say it with a hostile voice like he expected, it was more like a curious one but hey, he wasn't complaining.

"I'm looking for RedX." Beastboy responded.

"He went on a date with Blackfire and won't be back for a while." Jinx said. "Since you do have time to spend, would you mind telling me why you're trying to find him?"

"Well I quit the Titans and RedX offered me a place to stay so here I am." Beastboy explained. "I thought that he said there was five of you?"

"Whisp tends to stick to herself. She's probably in her room." the girl explained.

"And who might this be?" Beastboy asked gesturing to Jinx's companion.

"I'm Rina, and you are?" the girl asked. She was a bit shorter than Jinx and had short blonde hair. She was also wearing a yellow hoodie and a pair of black leggings.

"I'm Beastboy, pleased to meet you" said beastboy while giving the girl a polite smile.

"That is the dumbest name, when are you going to change it?" Jinx said bluntly while folding her arms and looking at Beastboy expectantly.

"Yeah I guess it is a little dumb, I'll start thinking of a name." he said.

"I think it's cute, but you probably should get a new name. What is your real name?" Rina asked him.

"It's even dumber than my current name so I'm not gonna say." he replied.

"Sorry if I was prying, I just get curious." Rina said.

"It's alright, now am I gonna get a tour of the place or do I get to look around for myself?"


	4. Chapter 4

Hello fanfiction, I'm back with another chapter and an actual author's note! I would have wrote one for the previous chapters but I was just posting them as soon as I could. In about a week, school is going to start back so updates will be a little bit random.

"I guess you do since there isn't anything on T.V and I'm bored." Jinx said. "This is our living room. I know it's not much but it gets the job done. The room was around the size of a normal living room in a house and had 2 small couches and a recliner in the middle with a 50 inch flatscreen mounted on the wall. They all walked down a long hallway to what looked like it used to be a lunchroom. "This is where we eat. We also take turns cooking so if you live here you've gotta be able to make at least something decent to eat.

"Is there a lot of room in the fridge?" Beastboy asked.

"Yes, why?" Jinx asked.

"I'm a vegetarian so I was wondering if there would be space if I bought tofu for myself." Beastboy said.

"As long as you don't make tofu for the rest of us i'm sure it will be fine." Jinx answered. Beastboy looked to Rina to see if she cared. She nodded her agreement with Jinx.

They walked out of the kitchen and into a different hallway that had a whole lot of doors on each side. "These are where the bedrooms are. We have 3 that are empty but all of them have bathrooms. When the tour is over you can decide on a room and then put your stuff in it." Jinx explained.

They got to the end of the hallway into a massive room that was the rest of the warehouse. "This is where we train if we are bored and where X keeps his bike." Jinx said looking at the giant room. "That's pretty much it besides some storage rooms on the other side of the warehouse. I'm gonna go back to the living room, later." Jinx said as she walked away. Rina smiled and waved to Beastboy before following Jinx down the hallway.

Beastboy just shrugged and went to look for his new room. The first room was right beside Jinx's and was Green with purple carpet. He quickly decided that he didn't like the color combination and went on to the second room. The second room had orange walls and was right next to Rina's room. He liked this room a bit better but the orange still reminded him of the titans so he went to check on the third room. At a first glance he already liked this one more than the other rooms. This one was silver with a dark hardwood floor and was in between a storage room and Whisp's room.

Since Beastboy had not met Whisp, he decided to say hello and ask is she would mind if he picked the room next to hers. He softly knocked on her door and heard a voice say "coming!"

The door opened to reveal a silver haired girl with smokey grey eyes. She was around 5'8 with a slim body. "Who are you?" the girl asked.

"I'm Beastboy. I just moved in and I was wanting to drop in and say hi and ask if you would mind if I took the empty room a door down.

"I didn't know that we were allowing other people to live here." she said.

"I'm not gonna go into details but I've known RedX for a while and he offered to let me live here after something happened to my old home." Beastboy replied.

"Oh, OK I'm Whisp and I don't mind though I appreciate that you asked before settling into the room. It's very thoughtful of you." Whisp said with a small smile.

"Well I'm gonna go put my stuff down and then go get some things, I guess I'll see you later." Beastboy said.

"Alright." and with that, the girl shut her door and Beastboy was off to set down his stuff. After he unpacked what little he brought, he decided that after all that had happened today, a nap was in order and he could go get stuff later so he laid down on the floor and went to sleep.

 **Several hours later**

Beastboy was roused from his sleep by a knock on his door. He opened it to see Whisp.

"RedX is back and he's looking for you." she said. "Were you sleeping on the floor?"

"Yeah, why?" Beastboy asked.

"I could have brought you a pillow or a blanket." she responded.

"Oh it's fine, I'm not too picky about where I sleep." Beastboy answered.

"Regardless, I'm giving you a blanket and a pillow for next time you sleep." the girl decided.

"You don't take no for an answer, do you?" he said.

"I'm known to be a bit hard-headed on occasion." she said.

"Alright fine, after I go talk to RedX, I'll come back and get them." he relented.

Whisp nodded and went back to her room while Beastboy started walking down the hallway to find RedX. He found him lying down on the couch in the living room.

"Have you settled in alright?"RedX asked.

"Yeah I have. There any rules I need to know?" Beastboy asked.

"There are a couple." said Blackfire as she walked in and sat down next to RedX. "Rule one: Don't make too much noise while in the bedroom area. Rule two: If you dirty a dish, clean it. Rule three: No bringing other people here. This place is supposed to be secret. Rule four: Don't do anything stupid. I think that about covers it."

"I'm probably gonna need to go visit some people for a day or two in the morning but I'll be back." Beastboy said.

"Where are you going?" asked RedX.

"I need to go get another costume from the Doom patrol. While I'm there, I'll probably get a holo ring so I can change how I look." Beastboy explained.

"What happened to your old uniform?"

"I burned it before I came here so the Titans couldn't follow me. They probably had a tracker on my uniform and I doubt that I would have been able to find it." he replied.

"Why can't you just wear normal clothes?" Blackfire asked.

"Normal clothes don't transform with me so if I turn into something bigger they will rip and if I turn into something smaller, I'll just get buried in the clothes and then when I transform back I'll be naked." he said.

"How do you know that the Doom Patrol won't put a tracker in your new suit?" RedX asked.

"They are my adoptive parents, I trust them. If you don't want me to go, I'll go pack up my stuff and be gone tonight." Beastboy said not looking forward to finding a new place to stay.

"You don't have to do that, just let me check for trackers when you get back." RedX said.

"Alright well if that's all I I'm gonna go hit the hay." Beastboy said.

"alright." Red X said as Beastboy left.

"He's already possibly breaking a rule and you're letting him stay?" Blackfire questioned her boyfriend.

"He's been through enough besides I never got to tell you why he's here in the first place." RedX replied.

"Well then tell me." Blackfire said to RedX.

"When I was snooping around in the tower the other day, I overheard them talking about Beastboy. Apparently something happened and now they hate him but kept him in the tower so that they could watch him. Even your sister hates him. I had to go before I could figure out why they hate him but I think that it will be best if we waited until he told us." RedX explained.

"If even my sister hates him now, don't you think that he might have done something terrible?" Blackfire asked.

"Robin probably manipulated her into hating him; you know how in love with Robin she is." RedX pointed out.

"Very true. If you trust him, then I will too for your sake. Let's just go to bed." Blackfire finally said as she got up from her pot on the couch.

"Fine by me."

I'm going to be featuring Whisp a bit more in the next chapter, but Rina will most likely not be getting a highlight until later in the story. I hope you enjoyed and feel free to tell me things that are a little off with the story.


End file.
